Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
