I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
