Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
