Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
