So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
