Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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