I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
