If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
These tits shall not be calmed
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
