I don't remember. Are we still dating?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
