I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
