Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
