Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
