How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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