Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
