god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
