I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
