Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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