Your dad touched me again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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