people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
