I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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