Got a toothbrush?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
