It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
