omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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