My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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