I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
