just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think my fart just growled at me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
