Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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