You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
