put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
