I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
