Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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