I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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