Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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