I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
