yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
