i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
