Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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