there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
