So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
