Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i love accidental penises.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
