Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
