And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
