Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
