You work out of a Hotel?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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