I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
