I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
