who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Soap is not a condiment
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
