seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
