i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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