Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
