babies were throwing up all over the place
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
